all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize