I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
