I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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