So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
