Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
