The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
