Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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