Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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