His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
