In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
