Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
