Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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