You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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