Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
