My friends, they love my intelligence
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
