I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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