Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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