I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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