Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize