By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I bet he comes in French.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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