You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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