He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
