yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
