Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
