You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drake has all the answers
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
