He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize