Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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