i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
