im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
