this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
