I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
