Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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