Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
