I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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