so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
