Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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