Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
