Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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