I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
