And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
