its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
