There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
