Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
