Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
