Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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