Where is the hickey?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
this just has baby written all over it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize