Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
