Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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