I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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