My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
