I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
