he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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