you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
