Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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