i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
