I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize