omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
