i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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