I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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