Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
