Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
