Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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