dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
