yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
