I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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