Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.

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(207): View more from Maine

He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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(815): View more from Illinois

i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.

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(810): View more from Michigan

during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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(310): View more from California

first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking

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(602): View more from Arizona

I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!

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