Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
