I think my vagina is haunted
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
