So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
