It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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