ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
