After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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