I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
