are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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