it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
