are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
