fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
