she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
