I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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