I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
